Diary of a No-Buy, Vol. 1

Tracking how a six-week shopping ban will affect my habits and views about consumption.

About two weeks ago, I created this post as a draft to journal my thoughts as I attempt a no-buy challenge for six weeks, to get into my own head and become more aware of why I do what I do.

Here are my entries for weeks 1 and 2.

Sept 12, 2023

Today I bought a new thing, and I’m feeling sheepish about it. I was working in a library and while taking a break for lunch, I passed a boutique and noticed they had a really nice selection of Lemaire croissant bags. I’d always wanted to compare the sizes, so I popped in for a look. They’re lovely, but I didn’t feel a strong urge to buy them as I really don’t feel like I need more bags in my life at the moment.

Then a selection of khakis from Needles caught my eye. I’ve loved how they look on various cool women for a while, and was curious about how they would look on me, so I tried them on.

BIG MISTAKE. I loved them — the leg widens dramatically before tapering back at the ankle, but the volume play is subtle and only visible from certain angles. It appeals to my preference for casual clothing with a point of view. I did not want to take them off. I thought to myself, Give it a week, these are always available, I see them on a bunch of online shops all the time.

I walked out of the changing room and straight to the cashier, paid for the trousers and left with my heart pounding, knowing that I love these trousers and would be wearing them every chance I had, but also hating myself for breaking a promise to not buy anything new for the remainder of this year. Where. Was. My. Self. Control?

This unpleasant sensation of disappointing myself is making me think about taking a proper break from shopping. I love clothes and fashion, and I know shopping is always going to be part of my life, but I’m starting to feel like I don’t have a grip on myself, and I badly want a reset, in order to achieve some balance in the long run.

Sept 13, 2023

I woke up today thinking that doing a no-buy in a fit of pique was a bad idea as I’ve never been the type of person that responds well to constraints — I tend to see it as punishment. And in this case, it would probably lead to a lot of revenge shopping at the end of the six weeks. I didn’t want to start a cycle of intense shopping followed by hard stops.

But building a habit has to start somewhere. Also, I’m curious as to what trying to do a no-buy might reveal about myself.

And what did I have to lose from trying? If anything, I could think of a few pros:

1. I would have more headspace to enjoy the clothes I already have

2. I would have more headspace for other interests

3. I might be able to save money (this depends on how good I am about actually saving instead of simply reallocating my shopping money to other fun things, like eating out)

4. I would be able to detach myself (slightly) from the unsustainable cycle of consumption

5. It would be good practice for me before I attempt the five-piece shopping challenge again in 2024

6. Historically, I am always happier when I exercise a certain of discipline in my life (eg, when I train for a run or when I complete a 30-day yoga challenge), so maybe this is my chance to positively reset my relationship with shopping and clothing.

If I’m being honest, I’m not terribly inspired by the pros. But oh well, I think it’s worth a shot.

Sept 15, 2023

A beautiful, warm, sunny day. I wear the Needles trousers for the first time, and am relieved I’m not feeling bitter about buying them. I wear them while I sit on my balcony, repotting some of my plants.

Later in the day, my partner notices my trousers and asks if they are new. I say yes. He says, I would totally buy myself a pair.

For a moment, I wonder if I am influencing him to shop and whether this is the beginning of a slippery slope. I tell myself to stop overthinking and remind myself that he is actually a great influence on me — he rarely shops and when he does, he really enjoys it but that’s the end of it; most of his style happiness comes from wearing the thing.

Sept 20, 2023

Today, my sister, who is visiting from Singapore, gave me a navy knit vest from COS that she wasn’t getting much wear out of. It was perfect because I’d been wanting a knit vest but I had put it on my shopping list for 2024, since winter was coming to an end in Australia and I didn’t need one urgently.

I ended up wearing it immediately, because it turned out to be a chilly day, and it felt like I was cheating — enjoying the feeling of having something new to wear without having to buy it. But it also reminded me of the rarely/never-worns in my wardrobe and I resolve to start wearing them more.

Sept 22, 2023

This morning, I pre-ordered a Baggu x Hello Kitty bag for my friend (a huge Hello Kitty fan) as a birthday gift, and felt worried that I had might have broken my no-buy promise. Was I was seeking the dopamine high of shopping by using my friend as an excuse?

I started feeling suspicious about everything else I bought recently — the stovetop kettle I ordered to replace our temperamental electric kettle that only worked sometimes. The bottle of wine I bought as a weekend treat. The scoop of ice-cream I enjoyed on the way home the day before.

I need to chill out before I start second-guessing our weekly grocery shop list.

Sept 27, 2023

Today was a fun exercise in self-sabotage, I opened my TRR “Obsessions” list, planning to weed out the stuff I didn’t particularly want.

Instead, I spent an hour scouring the site for past runway items from my favourite designers. I then added five of my favourite items to my shopping cart, stared at the $1,000 worth of merchandise, and narrowed it down to one “must-have” item. I stared at it some more, then I removed it from the cart and closed the tab. Does anyone else do this?

I can tell I’m itching to shop and might make an impulse buy at any point. To be safe, I delete the TRR and Vestiaire apps from my phone, because both are just way too addictive when I’m in a triggered phase.

Later in the day, while walking to the gym, I listened to this podcast — “Sustain This”, hosted by Alyssa Beltempo, Signe Hansen and Christina Mychas — on the challenges of doing a no-buy, and the timing of it felt like a sign that I should push on.

A lot of great points were discussed, but the thing that really resonated with me was when Alyssa shared that her shopping triggers were loneliness and the need to prove something to herself. I hadn’t realised it before, but I deeply relate to how she felt — I am currently self-employed after years of being reliably employed full-time, and while I am doing ok, I sometimes feel this perverse urge to shop to feel better about myself.

Listening to them being so honest about their struggles with consumption made me feel less alone about my shortcomings on this front. It also was a much-needed reminder that I truly don’t need to shop to dress well, and my brain needs this reset, to give myself the breathing space to relearn other ways of experiencing joy from fashion.

I walk to my wardrobe and change out of my trousers for a skirt I hadn’t worn in a while, and started feeling better. I read this newsletter by Tiia on

Sunday Style Thoughts

to encourage myself.

Baby steps.

Takeaways so far

The first things that became extremely noticeable from doing this experiment were my shopping triggers, namely:

• When someone finds a rare and collectible item that sparks something nostalgic in me. Recently, I’ve been diving into old Prada and Marni during the Consuelo Castiglioni years, and although I don’t often find something I actually want to buy, it takes up hours of my time looking at old runway shows and perusing eBay, TRR and Vestiaire.

• People whose style resonates with me — for example, I’m deeply envious of the trouser collection of Brittany Bathgate and whenever I watch one of her videos, I start browsing Studio Nicholson or Shaina Mote trousers.

• Vintage, secondhand or sale items trigger a “scarcity” mindset in me — I worry that I will regret missing out.

• When something I currently own doesn’t fit me well, I find myself deeply annoyed and triggered to shop.

• Stress. Whenever I am unhappy about something in my life, I look to shopping as a temporary fix.

To be continued…