'Fatigue from wanting' -- yes, oh my gosh, yes. I know that one. It's weird though, to want and to not want simultaneously. Like, what is that?!
Also wanting someone else's outfit -- I can relate! Having said that, my break from IG has changed that, and it's a strange feeling to have that headspace freed. I'm thinking that I have been a lot more influenced by the clothes of others than I'd care to admit.
When I was switching my wardrobe from summer to fall/winter, I noticed that I really need new tank tops and undershirts -- badly. I always have a hard time spending money on these types of things, because I'm tempted to save my pennies to something more substantial, but I'm noticing that getting dressed properly starts with the undergarments. I should invest in new ones next year.
Yes, and I think the best thing to do in this fatigue state is to buy nothing -- I feel like nothing positive can emerge from shopping when you're feeling conflicted.
I'm treating IG like some kind of (unscientific) exposure therapy, where I want to see if eventually, as I become more aware of my thought processes and my vulnerabilities, influencers won't influence me as much anymore, haha. A little silly probably, but then a no-buy challenge is perfect for such experiments!
This entire paragraph summed up my experience with social media of all varieties (Instagram, TikTok and, even, Pinterest).
It follows that I should stop following these influencers in order to manage my shopping compulsion, but I don’t want to...They are my fantasy selves, and even though I don’t actually buy everything they buy or even copy their outfits, I enjoy living vicariously through them as they lead their best style lives.
I struggle so mightly with a genuine desire to free myself from the bondage of (mostly ONE) influencer and yet when I avoid looking at her content I find myself so consumed with curiosity of what she is posting.
It makes me feel like a teenage girl, and not in a fun way.
So true, it really is like being a teenager again and being in awe of the popular girl, except that now I have the freedom to cause some serious damage to my wallet. I would like to think that being able to read our own behaviour or wants clearly is a step in the direction though!
I think what helps me is that my two favourite influencers spend WAY more money on clothes than I ever will, or could, and in a way I feel somewhat "safe" from spiralling into ill-considered shopping spree. I think a no-buy in this regard is really helpful too...instead of shopping for something similar I've started looking at what I already own vs what I like, and seeing ways of bridging it.
I am really inspired by your no shopping and I think it could help be a stop gap of seeing something on an influencer and wanting either exactly what they have or searching for something similar.
I’m interested to hear how you react when the six weeks ends and you have the freedom to shop — maybe the intentions have shifted now that you have figured out the triggers and what you really want/need vs. what feels more impulsive due to social media and substack envy. It’s a great exercise.
Me too! Interestingly, I've been giving myself permission to shop, like I already know I really need another white tee after I relegated the really unsalvageable ones, but I'm quite content to wait till the end of six weeks to buy one. I was also really keen on a jumper (and I could use a new jumper too) and found a really nice one, well priced and great quality, but I've decided I should just wait till the next winter to assess whether it's still right for me.
Also, a Dries blouse I really like on TRR was marked down further, and I was like, ok I should get it...and yet, after I gave it 24 hours, and I chose not to, after weighing it against what else I would prefer to see in my wardrobe. I also noticed that even though 3 weeks ago I felt like I couldn't live without the blouse, I've already added like 5 more things to my TRR obsessions list. There's always something new to fall in love with, and I think I'm learning to fully appreciate that sentiment and letting things go.
dries on TRR is my absolute downfall (pauses to consider what blouse you may be speaking of...). i genuinely love perusing the sight so much - i wish i could be strong enough to keep enjoying my hobby of scrolling while breaking my hobby of purchasing!
Lin I enjoyed your essay and am currently 10 weeks into a no buy. Aiming to end 2023 at least.
I would love to see some of the conversions you’ve done at your tailor. I suspect some of my dresses would do better as skirts - or even a two piece skirt-shirt set
Awesome, that's so inspiring! I'm secretly hoping to last till the end of the year as well, but I'm not getting my hopes up... What have you found motivating so far?
It is shocking how much headspace thinking about what I want to buy occupies! Love this detailed diary into your no buy time. I have found that on the months where I officially *create the rule* that I can't buy, it becomes less of a decision point / thing I have to control... it's already been decided! I need to go do a thorough audit of my IG follows—it's so true that there are just a few who really do all the influencing!
Finding ways to “lift up” (#sashup!) the pieces you already have, the way you did with that jaunty scarf, is inspiring! Thank you for sharing your journey so openly!
'Fatigue from wanting' -- yes, oh my gosh, yes. I know that one. It's weird though, to want and to not want simultaneously. Like, what is that?!
Also wanting someone else's outfit -- I can relate! Having said that, my break from IG has changed that, and it's a strange feeling to have that headspace freed. I'm thinking that I have been a lot more influenced by the clothes of others than I'd care to admit.
When I was switching my wardrobe from summer to fall/winter, I noticed that I really need new tank tops and undershirts -- badly. I always have a hard time spending money on these types of things, because I'm tempted to save my pennies to something more substantial, but I'm noticing that getting dressed properly starts with the undergarments. I should invest in new ones next year.
Yes, and I think the best thing to do in this fatigue state is to buy nothing -- I feel like nothing positive can emerge from shopping when you're feeling conflicted.
I'm treating IG like some kind of (unscientific) exposure therapy, where I want to see if eventually, as I become more aware of my thought processes and my vulnerabilities, influencers won't influence me as much anymore, haha. A little silly probably, but then a no-buy challenge is perfect for such experiments!
I'm noticing that getting dressed properly starts with the undergarments-- 100% agree
This entire paragraph summed up my experience with social media of all varieties (Instagram, TikTok and, even, Pinterest).
It follows that I should stop following these influencers in order to manage my shopping compulsion, but I don’t want to...They are my fantasy selves, and even though I don’t actually buy everything they buy or even copy their outfits, I enjoy living vicariously through them as they lead their best style lives.
I struggle so mightly with a genuine desire to free myself from the bondage of (mostly ONE) influencer and yet when I avoid looking at her content I find myself so consumed with curiosity of what she is posting.
It makes me feel like a teenage girl, and not in a fun way.
So true, it really is like being a teenager again and being in awe of the popular girl, except that now I have the freedom to cause some serious damage to my wallet. I would like to think that being able to read our own behaviour or wants clearly is a step in the direction though!
I think what helps me is that my two favourite influencers spend WAY more money on clothes than I ever will, or could, and in a way I feel somewhat "safe" from spiralling into ill-considered shopping spree. I think a no-buy in this regard is really helpful too...instead of shopping for something similar I've started looking at what I already own vs what I like, and seeing ways of bridging it.
I am really inspired by your no shopping and I think it could help be a stop gap of seeing something on an influencer and wanting either exactly what they have or searching for something similar.
I’m interested to hear how you react when the six weeks ends and you have the freedom to shop — maybe the intentions have shifted now that you have figured out the triggers and what you really want/need vs. what feels more impulsive due to social media and substack envy. It’s a great exercise.
Me too! Interestingly, I've been giving myself permission to shop, like I already know I really need another white tee after I relegated the really unsalvageable ones, but I'm quite content to wait till the end of six weeks to buy one. I was also really keen on a jumper (and I could use a new jumper too) and found a really nice one, well priced and great quality, but I've decided I should just wait till the next winter to assess whether it's still right for me.
Also, a Dries blouse I really like on TRR was marked down further, and I was like, ok I should get it...and yet, after I gave it 24 hours, and I chose not to, after weighing it against what else I would prefer to see in my wardrobe. I also noticed that even though 3 weeks ago I felt like I couldn't live without the blouse, I've already added like 5 more things to my TRR obsessions list. There's always something new to fall in love with, and I think I'm learning to fully appreciate that sentiment and letting things go.
dries on TRR is my absolute downfall (pauses to consider what blouse you may be speaking of...). i genuinely love perusing the sight so much - i wish i could be strong enough to keep enjoying my hobby of scrolling while breaking my hobby of purchasing!
The conscientious approach you have instilled feels perfect. It’s a way of life that behooves us all. xx
Lin I enjoyed your essay and am currently 10 weeks into a no buy. Aiming to end 2023 at least.
I would love to see some of the conversions you’ve done at your tailor. I suspect some of my dresses would do better as skirts - or even a two piece skirt-shirt set
Awesome, that's so inspiring! I'm secretly hoping to last till the end of the year as well, but I'm not getting my hopes up... What have you found motivating so far?
Skirts: I shall get around to a post on that.
Thank you for sharing this. Very, very relatable.
It is shocking how much headspace thinking about what I want to buy occupies! Love this detailed diary into your no buy time. I have found that on the months where I officially *create the rule* that I can't buy, it becomes less of a decision point / thing I have to control... it's already been decided! I need to go do a thorough audit of my IG follows—it's so true that there are just a few who really do all the influencing!
Finding ways to “lift up” (#sashup!) the pieces you already have, the way you did with that jaunty scarf, is inspiring! Thank you for sharing your journey so openly!