Shopping Reflections: How To Not Hate a Low-Buy

Low/no-buys are hard. Here's what I wished I knew when I first started.

September is drawing to a close as I am writing this, and I’ve bought six items of clothing so far (five secondhand, one new). I’m fairly content with where I stand; I do have a few items on my wishlist, and maybe I will welcome one or two more pieces of clothing into my life by the end of the year. Or not.

It doesn’t matter, because what matters to me is that I no longer feel controlled by my compulsion to shop, and this is a big improvement to where I was in May.

A big revelation for me was that this wasn’t just about numbers; it was about learning not to see fashion — and life in general — through the lens of consumerism. For me, acquisition had become the default way of enjoying things, enabled by a society that profits from fanning the idea that shopping is self-actualising. And it was killing my love for clothing and fashion.

Realising that consumerism is the thief of joy was the point of no return for me, and this helped me curb the once-insatiable need to shop. But surprisingly, it hasn’t taken the joy out of the times I do shop. I still love clothing, fashion, and conversations about personal style—my eyes are just a little more open now.

No/low-buys are best approached with a bit of thought, so I’ve jotted down seven takeaways on how to best to make the most of it; hopefully it’s helpful to those of you out there thinking of trying one.

Tip #1: Be honest with yourself

Not everyone who wants to do a no/low-buy has a shopping problem, but I did; I truly felt like shopping controlled my life. I had a reflexive craving to buy something new, a craving that seemingly could not be sated. I constantly thought about the things I wanted to buy. When there was nothing on my wishlist, I scoured shops (physical and online) looking for things to want. When I did buy things, I felt guilty and jittery. This was not a healthy headspace for anyone to be in.

Admitting this to myself wasn’t pleasant, but once I did, I felt such relief, and this brought about a clarity that it allowed me to set realistic low-buy goals. It also allowed me to be kind to myself: when I was in denial, I was frustrated at myself, yet unable to get to the root of the problem, and there was a lot of self-flagellation that didn’t achieve anything.

Honesty can put you in a good place to start a low-buy, but it cuts both ways—it is just as important to admit when you’re not ready for a low-buy. Last year, I really wanted to do the Rule of Five challenge but I was in denial about how my body had changed and I actually needed new clothes. It was basically a recipe for implosion. Don’t do this to yourself.

Tip #2: Start small

No/low-buys don’t have to last a year. You’re probably already doing a no-buy weekend, or a no-buy week, or a no-buy month without even realising it. Try something short yet consistent (once a month, every other month), and you may eventually develop a rhythm that makes sense to you. It’s better to cut back slowly but consistently, than to set goals you’ll never reach.

Tip #3: Enjoy saying ‘no’

The thrill of the new is pretty seductive, but there’s also satisfaction in saying no: first it feels like relief, and then it feels like liberation. To know that you can delight in clothing but not depend on it for happiness, was a “penny drop” moment for me. I learnt to savour these moments, instead of seeing them as punishment.

I also really enjoyed being picky—I learnt to ask myself what I didn’t like about any given item, and I was surprised by how quickly it took the shine off most pieces that seemed so covetable when I first saw it.

But my favourite reason (and I think I learnt this from a post or comment I saw somewhere) for saying no is “this isn’t the right time to buy”. It’s strangely effective because I wasn’t ruling it out completely, I was just giving myself more time to think. It stops my mind from racing from justification to justification to buy something.

Tip #4: Fill the time

In a bid to shop less, I started cutting back on my time spent on eBay, TRR, Vestiaire, Etsy, YouTube, Substack and IG, and this left me with an unbelievable amount of free time on my hands. I knew that if I didn’t fill this time, the craving to buy something would be overwhelming, so I pushed myself to get more active. I bought a cinema membership and saw lots of movies. I watched cooking videos instead of scrolling fashion content and cooked a lot more. I scheduled more regular phone catch-ups with my friends back home in Singapore. My husband and I organised more camping trips on weekends. I read more books.

I didn’t cut out fashion content entirely because I knew I would miss the inspiration and joy that fashion brings. But I unfollowed IG accounts that made me feel spendy, and I set time limits on the app (45 minutes a day). For fun, I built about 10 minutes of outfit planning into my ironing days. You need that spark that comes from something besides shopping.

(I would love to say that I finally learnt to drive and got my sewing and darning hobby off the ground but I haven’t. We can’t be good at everything.)

Tip #5: Nourish yourself

I heard this tip from Carla Beghin on IG, and thought it was brilliant: Don’t shop on an “empty stomach”. The idea is to nourish yourself with an appreciation for the clothes you already have before you go shopping—such as by playing dress-up with your clothes or doing your laundry to get your clothes looking their best. Doing so reminds you of what you already have and love, and reduces the urge to buy something that pales in comparison.

Like Carla, my favourite time for wardrobe assessment and appreciation is laundry day. First, it provides a clear picture of what you actually wear (and hence wash) frequently, which tells you something about your needs and wants. Second, the act of caring for my clothes cultivates a feeling of gratitude and contentment—when I’m ironing, I often notice the details I like on a garment. Even the negative feelings that arise can be useful—knowing you no longer like a certain garment provides clarity on what you should be looking for when you shop.

I also like to put on a good outfit when I go shopping — it’s a reminder that I probably have clothes I like more than anything I see in a store. Back in May, I realised that the reason I’ve been able to sustain a low-buy this year was because I was actually happy and satisfied with my clothes. If your clothes aren’t meeting your needs, don’t force a low/no-buy on yourself.

Tip #6: Talk to people

Last week, I was tempted by a pair of jeans, and mentally, I started spiralling— I was convinced that the jeans were a slippery slope back to my old ways—until I casually mentioned to my husband I saw some nice jeans. The minute I said it, they became just another fact, another detail of my day. Things feel a lot more momentous when you build them up in your head, and you can diffuse some of that tension by saying it out loud.

Tip #7: The more no/low-buys you do, the easier it gets

I’ve tried numerous times over the years to cut back on shopping and have had plenty of setbacks. But each time I tried—even if it was something as simple as not walking into my favourite shop when I passed it, or not checking TRR for a day—I felt like I learnt something about myself, and it kept me going. Also, through repetition, the prospect of not staying on track stopped feeling scary. At some point, I even started looking forward to my shopping pauses.

Looking back, my past “failures” feel more like going off-piste—it didn’t pan out the way I planned, but it was still an experience. And I still got somewhere, instead of being stuck in the same place.

---

And that’s everything I’ve learnt so far in my quest to shop less. Is a no/low-buy for you? Tell me in the comments!