What A Pair of Trousers Taught Me About Shopping and Style in 2023

And my 2024 shopping goals.

The first iteration of this newsletter was an exhaustive breakdown of the 25 items I bought this year and how I felt about them. Which was not the snappiest read.

As I sat there in a kind of word-induced stupor reviewing what I wrote, a question floated into my mind: Which purchase did I love the most?

The answer came almost instantly: these trousers from Needles Japan:

When I wear these trousers, I feel with utter clarity that everything I buy should be like this — an accurate expression of who I am, a garment that allows me to channel something special while getting on with the needs of my day. They are resolutely casual and hardworking, but they also have something to say to the world — the exaggerated curve and volume in the leg speak of humour and attention to detail. They’re cool, but friendly.

And because all of these qualities resonate with me (I aim to have these qualities) — hardworking, humorous, attentive, cool and friendly — I bought the trousers.

It’s not the most essential thing I bought (that honour goes to my winter jacket), but it represents all the things I like about my clothes old and new, and it sets the bar for what I would like to welcome into my wardrobe in future.

With all these thoughts swimming around my head, I scrapped what I wrote and started over.

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I shopped for a myriad of reasons this year: to dress my bigger body; to dress for colder weather; to replace worn-out things; to entertain myself; to ease my insecurities; to scratch the itch for something new; to feel like I’m part of something.

I don’t expect the things I buy to address all of these needs (especially the ones that shouldn’t be addressed by shopping). But the Needles trousers checked off so many boxes that it made me wonder why I haven’t asking more of what I buy. Especially with the world turning into a dumpster fire due in part to our consumption habits.

I started the year with the goal of buying only five new items, and ended up with 25 items, new and secondhand, and while I don’t regret buying things that serve my needs (living in a new country, changing body), I need to do better.

And despite buying more clothes than I did last year, I’m strangely hopeful that I can. Doing a little no-buy (six weeks) gave me space to reflect on my behaviour and motivations for shopping. And the things I did buy helped to re-affirm my sense of self and what I like, and gave me insight into what I shouldn’t be buying.

So here’s what I learnt from buying the Needles trousers.

Lesson 1: Try new things but don’t shop to look like someone else

I work from home, I lead a gala-free life, and I generally demand practicality from my clothes. When I stay true to these realities, I make fewer mistakes; when I get carried away by a fantasy self, that’s when the regrettable purchases creep in.

Before I bought the Needles trousers, I was obsessed with the idea of buying a pair of silk or satin trousers—I got it into my head that something sleek, flowing and elegant was the poise and refinement I need to counter the casual tone of my wardrobe.

But though my wardrobe did need a little creative push (I like the way Amy Smilovic talks about it here), a silk trouser was not the answer. I love hardworking clothes with a rough or textured hand feel, and silk and satin have very little emotional or practical appeal for me.

When I tried the Needles trousers on, it not only reminded me of what I actually liked, it also delivered the edge of freshness I was seeking—an exaggerated curved leg that felt more fun than a typical classic wide-leg trouser. I could push the boundaries of how I dressed without compromising my sense of self.

Lesson 2: Be honest about your needs

There’s a reason I bought five pairs of trousers, two pairs of shorts and a skirt this year—I needed them. I went up in size gradually over three years, so gradually that it didn’t feel like I needed new clothes, until one day I realised I was avoiding about a third of my clothes.

It took me a long time to concede that some of my beloved pieces of clothing just didn’t fit anymore (this article by stylist

Dacy Gillespie

discusses it so well) because I felt guilty about the waste, but when I did, I felt great. If I had dragged it out longer, I might have made more shopping mistakes, such as buying filler pieces to distract myself from real needs.

A pair of Dries Van Noten trousers I bought secondhand on Vestiaire Collective. They fit me perfectly and made me realise it was silly to hanging on to clothes that didn’t fit anymore.

With winter wear, I waited till mid-winter to concede that I could no longer make do, and had to make a trip to Uniqlo and COS, where I found some staples I’m very happy with. If I had been more intentional earlier, I could have bought better and not turn to fast fashion as a convenience. Lesson learnt.

This Uniqlo knit skirt (from their collab with Mame Kurogouchi) was one of my best cold weather buys of the year—cozy and chic.

Lesson 3: Enjoy shopping in person

I enjoy shopping online, because I don’t always have physical access to clothes that speak to my style sensibilities, and I especially love how it has opened up a whole world of secondhand gems to me.

What I don’t love about online shopping is how it can sneakily take over my life—it is too easy to spend hours online, obsessing over pictures of a coveted item, researching sizes, pricing and shipping options.

And online shopping makes me especially vulnerable to one of my biggest shopping pitfalls—shopping for a fantasy self, which is often unrealistic and detached (e.g. silk trousers) from what I actually like.

Shopping in person keeps me grounded. I had stalked the Needles trousers online for over a year, and they even went on sale on SSENSE at some point, but it was seeing them in person in a store in Melbourne that moved me to buy it. I could better appreciate the fabric, the cut and details, try a few sizes to find the right fit, and see the clothes in a bigger context of other clothes. It felt special, and I didn’t feel like I was falling for a trend or trying to look like someone else.

We can’t all shop in person all the time, but the times I’ve done so have helped me shop with more discernment online, and avoid the trap of falling in love with a fantasy Pinterest/IG version of myself.

The Polo shirt, found secondhand, is one of my favourite in-person buys of the year, simply because I was able to try it on and really appreciate what I like about the fit down to the last detail. Likewise with the Studio Nicholson jeans— I bought them online, but I had a chance fall in love with them in person first.

Lesson 4: Recognise the difference between impulsivity and spontaneity

We all know that one great tip about shopping—waiting 24 hours (or longer) before deciding whether to buy something. But with shopping platforms making it too easy to save our favourites, and sending us nudges whenever there’s a price drop, the waiting period sometimes turns into a trap—a prolonged period of obsession that ends up heightening the need to have it.

It made me wonder, why is it that sometimes it feels totally right to get something in that moment, and other times it feels like I’m caved in to something that makes me feel guilty?

Then I heard something on the “Sustain This” podcast that put two and two together for me—recognising the difference between feeling impulsive and being spontaneous, and honing our sensitivity towards which is which.

For me, an impulse buy is almost always associated with a feeling of negativity—I’m not happy about something, I’m tired, I’m feeling FOMO and envious. Most of these things will turn out to be mistakes, or at best, nice “fillers” that don’t do much for me in the long run. Ever since I did a no-buy and couldn’t shop to distract myself from a bad feeling, I’ve become better at recognising this feeling and backing off.

A spontaneous buy feels like something is clicking into place. It’s a feeling of recognition, rather than a reaction to a sale or a feeling of wanting to be someone else. I feel in control. If it’s something that I love but can’t afford, I don’t spiral into an obsessive state of hunting for a dupe, or buy something else just to feel better. I let it go, or I start saving for it.

Apart from the Needles trousers, my Beams Japan vest is a great example of a spontaneous buy. I didn’t have “fluffy fleece gilet” written anywhere on a wishlist, but the minute I saw it, I knew it checked all the right boxes: not only practical but also aligned with my style. It was unexpected but just right.

My Beams Japan wool-fleece gilet, found secondhand was a completely unplanned purchase but I knew right away it was right for me and I wore it for the remainder of winter with great joy and satisfaction.

So clearly, it is possible to tell the difference between impulsivity and spontaneity. Obviously it’s won’t always be easy, but I’ve learnt that I would rather err on the side of caution and try not buy anything when I feel even the slightest doubt. I’d rather live with the feeling of the one that got away, than deal with the burden of being stuck with a bad purchase.

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So here’s a breakdown of what I bought this year. Overall, I think I did good building up a solid base of Without Fails** that served me well, although I would have preferred to rely less on fast fashion.

And while I managed to keep my aspirational buys and fillers to a minimum, there were still more purchases on this front that I would have liked.

**Borrowed this term from Tibi even though I don’t really shop Tibi because it’s a great term for those non-basic essentials upon which I build my outfits.

Winter “without fails” (6 items)

• Navy boiled wool shirt jacket, Tibi

• Cream merino wool long sleeve tee, COS

• Striped merino wool knit long-sleeve turtleneck tee, COS

• Olive green knit long skirt, Uniqlo x Mame Kurogouchi

• Dark green corduroy straight-leg trousers, Uniqlo U

• White wool-blend fleece vest, Beams Plus, secondhand

(L) My navy Tibi boiled wool jacket, just the right weight and length for the mild Melbourne winter; (R) My dark green Uniqlo U cord trousers were the dream WFH alternative to sweatpants—soft, plush but still smart.

Summer “without fails” (3 items)

• White linen kneelength shorts, COS, secondhand

• Black linen blend pleated shorts, Lee Mathews, secondhand

• Black cotton jersey bra top, Uniqlo x Mame Kurogouchi

I really only needed one pair of new shorts but I couldn’t pass up two pairs of great shorts in my size in a secondhand store. I do have a lot of summer clothes and am planning to not buying more in 2024.

Year-round “without fails” (7 items)

• Khaki tropical wool wide-leg trousers, Dries Van Noten, secondhand

• Dark denim high-waist wide-leg jeans, Dries Van Noten

• Khaki green cotton HD trousers, Needles Japan

• White denim curve-leg jeans, Studio Nicholson

• Striped cotton oversized shirt, Polo Ralph Lauren, secondhand

• White cotton twill shirt jacket, MHL, secondhand

• White leather glove flats, ESSĒN

A couple of my favourite buys in one outfit—the MHL shirt jacket and the khaki Dries trousers.

Year-round basics (2 items)

• Black cotton crewneck tee, Uniqlo U

• White cotton crewneck tee, Uniqlo U

  

  They're just t-shirts but I enjoy wearing them so much. A fast fashion buy I don't regret.

Aspirational buys I don’t know what to do with (2 items)

• Plaid jacquard blazer, Dries Van Noten, secondhand

• Beige double-breasted waistcoat, vintage

  

  I love the look of tailoring but haven't manage to work it into my daily life in a way that feels natural. There will always be room for such purchases in my life, but perhaps I could limit it to just one such buy a year.

Cute “fillers” I didn’t need (3 items)

• Beaded purse, vintage

• Denim carpenter jeans, vintage

• Black sheer tank top, Uniqlo x Mame Kurogouchi

  

  Maybe I didn’t need this purse but I can’t deny it’s cute! Regardless, I hope to avoid filler buys entirely in 2024.

Regrettable buys (2 items)

• White linen blend shirt, Toteme (impulse sale buy that wasn’t right for me)

• Navy wool blend crewneck sweater, &Other Stories, secondhand (poor quality)

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The five-item shopping goal

I’m going to try and challenge myself again to buy only five or fewer new items in 2024. I’m aware I’m not going to save the world by doing this, but like the no-buy challenge, I’m searching for that elusive shift in my attitudes and habits towards consumption, and I think even trying and failing this can really build towards that.

What I’ve learnt is that to make it work, I have to have some kind of shopping plan, and here’s what it looks like at the moment:

• One winter “without fail” — On the hunt for a jumper

• One basic — Replacement of necessities like a t-shirt (if needed)

• One year-round “without fail” — Nothing in particular, though I like the idea of another button-down shirt

• One serendipitous nice-to-have item — Something emotional and unexpected that I don’t mind not wearing often, but considered and not impulsive

• One “open category” item — Saving a spot for unexpected needs, or for spontaneity to happen.

And because this is about honing my ability to enjoy fashion and style without conflating it with consumption, here are a few other things I plan to do in 2024 (it’s just a summary of what I wrote about here previously):

• Spend more time putting together outfits and less time shopping

• Limit my consumption of fashion content on IG and Youtube (an hour a day)

• Continue to keep shopping apps off my phone

• Do a few no-buy months throughout the year to “detox” from the urge to seek a dopamine rush from shopping

What are your style and shopping goals for 2024?