Our mums💔 mine passed away last year, I am wearing her gray cashmere sweater as I type. She too, taught me to dress for the occasion. It was part of her culture being from. Mexico. We would dress to go shopping for an afternoon in San Francisco.
I learned well - I dress anytime I am leaving the house - dinner out, an art opening, an afternoon chamber concert where half the audience anywhere is in denim. An old Missoni scarf and old MaxMara blazer with my Tibi Calder sweats to walk the dog. I meet a friend monthly for lunch and we both always “Dress” with a capital D - it makes it so much more of an event.
So so beautiful, thank you for sharing this writing. So sorry for your loss. I wear my grandmother’s necklace every day - i just don’t take it off ever, it’s a part of me now. The morning of her funeral we were all sitting around her house and one by one I noticed my mom, aunts, cousins going up one by one - one of my aunts had forgotten a brooch she wanted to wear and was freaking out (not really about the brooch but it was an easy placeholder in the moment) and her sister suggested borrowing from Nan’s collection. then asked all the other women downstairs if they wanted to grab something for the service as well. We found all the gifts we’d given her, years of jewelry from 4 daughters and many granddaughters, many saved in their original boxes with tissue paper cared for so well. Everyone found something that made them smile and reminded them of a special memory. I picked this necklace because I remember seeing it often on a jewelry stand when we would visit and being fascinated by it as a child. Now every time my aunts see a photo of me and see the necklace in the photo (they’re all in Ireland so it’s mostly photos except at some holidays) they get so excited and text my mom immediately 💗 I decided to wear one of my mom’s old sweaters today because of this piece, needed a little extra comfort. Thank you for your beautiful writing, I think this is a beautiful way to honor your mother’s memory and keep her close by 💖💖
Thanks for sharing the story of your grandmother, I can just imagine how beautiful that was. Two of my mother's sisters flew down to Singapore for her wake and after the funeral, we gathered around my mother's closet so that they could pick what they wanted - my mum's clothes suited them more and my sisters and I knew that they could be trusted to treasure her things. It was also a moment of comfort and remembering my mum and how she loved to dress up.
That's a beautiful story about your grandmother. I similarly wear my granny's ring every single day - she was given it on her 21st birthday, and my mum inherited it when she passed. My mum then wore it every day while I was growing up, so I associate it heavily with both of them. She didn’t want me to inherit it after she dies, so she passed it on to me on my own 21st. It's very comforting to carry with me. 🖤
I feel a kinship with your mom. As a woman who loves fashion but spends most of my day caregiving, my clothes have to be practical BUT I get dressed to show up for myself and the people I do see. I love dressing up for a casual dinner out with friends or a PTO meeting and I’ve regularly been told by friends “you dressing nice is reminding me that I can dress nice.” Thanks for sharing this, your love for your mom is so very clear.
Thank you! As a child I took pride in how well my mum dressed, she really stood out and she didn't seem to mind, which is quite remarkable when you consider how women often feel pressured to conform.
Thank you! Losing a parent can bring up so many complicated feelings for many, I feel lucky that our relationship was one that allows me to look back with love and happiness (not quite the same with my dad, lol).
I love this. I often did this when seeing clients in person (almost all remote at this point), would dress in a way that aligned a bit with their style or place in life, just to build trust.
One of the most beautiful things I have ever read. My heart breaks for your sadness. It is clear you are a wonderful daughter. Thank you for this — it is a gift.
Such a beautiful piece of writing! I am gobsmaked twice by the emotions your writing has bubbled up in me. I am a homemaker and still try to make an effort to get properly dressed every day - even if it is for only a few hours in between cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring kids etc. I had been musing about why I do this when often no one I know will see me. And I started to think that when I go out into the world I want to show respect to the people I meet whether it’s tradies, baristas, shop workers. It doesn’t mean I need to have lots of clothes it just means taking a few extra minutes to make an effort to wear an outfit. My mum died 4 years ago and I have often lamented that I don’t have many items of hers to remind me about her (she just never really bought anything). But then I remembered how patient and kind she was to me when I was a teenager working out what I wanted to wear - she would take me to nice shops (annually, my parents were not wealthy), she would encourage me to try and wear whatever I liked, she showed absolutely no judgment and always told me I was gorgeous. Thank you for writing your beautiful thoughts Lin. I have really enjoyed reflecting on your words.
Thank you, I totally relate to how you feel, as someone who works from home and sometimes actually never leaves the house at all during the day. And thank you for your sharing your story about your mum, I really feel the love you have for her. I actually didn't keep much of my mum's clothes either; they suited her sisters better, so my sisters and I decided to give most of her good clothes to them. I guess it's really her attitude around style that matters, more than the actual clothing!
This is beautiful. I always love your thoughtful narrative around how and why we dress. I can relate to that, wearing one of your mother's things when you miss her. I do the same and take comfort in knowing she's with me every day I wear my engagement ring (a redesign of one of her rings). Sending you lots of love today <3
Thank you! I'm also incredibly moved whenever you mention your mum in your content, it is a blessing to be able to carry good memories with us every day!
This was such a great read. I absolutely believe in dressing for people and occasions. And I think we often underestimate those times when how we dress links us to our loved ones. I wear my grandmother's wedding and engagement rings every day, and it links me so closely to her.
Thank you! I'm always astounded by how much my dressing choices was influenced by my mum -- the way I can't start my day unless I've gotten dressed, my mania for ironed clothes, and the way I like to feel clothes to get a sense of the texture and weight when I'm flipping through shopping racks.
Beautiful, Lin, and something I’ve always believed—dressing well IS good manners. And I’m sorry for your loss—my mother died seven years ago this fall.
Our mums💔 mine passed away last year, I am wearing her gray cashmere sweater as I type. She too, taught me to dress for the occasion. It was part of her culture being from. Mexico. We would dress to go shopping for an afternoon in San Francisco.
I learned well - I dress anytime I am leaving the house - dinner out, an art opening, an afternoon chamber concert where half the audience anywhere is in denim. An old Missoni scarf and old MaxMara blazer with my Tibi Calder sweats to walk the dog. I meet a friend monthly for lunch and we both always “Dress” with a capital D - it makes it so much more of an event.
I relate to this so much. Sorry to hear about your mum; it's gotten easier for me, but missing her still hurts.
I love putting on a nice (but practical) outfit just to get groceries, such a nice, everyday pleasure to savour!
So so beautiful, thank you for sharing this writing. So sorry for your loss. I wear my grandmother’s necklace every day - i just don’t take it off ever, it’s a part of me now. The morning of her funeral we were all sitting around her house and one by one I noticed my mom, aunts, cousins going up one by one - one of my aunts had forgotten a brooch she wanted to wear and was freaking out (not really about the brooch but it was an easy placeholder in the moment) and her sister suggested borrowing from Nan’s collection. then asked all the other women downstairs if they wanted to grab something for the service as well. We found all the gifts we’d given her, years of jewelry from 4 daughters and many granddaughters, many saved in their original boxes with tissue paper cared for so well. Everyone found something that made them smile and reminded them of a special memory. I picked this necklace because I remember seeing it often on a jewelry stand when we would visit and being fascinated by it as a child. Now every time my aunts see a photo of me and see the necklace in the photo (they’re all in Ireland so it’s mostly photos except at some holidays) they get so excited and text my mom immediately 💗 I decided to wear one of my mom’s old sweaters today because of this piece, needed a little extra comfort. Thank you for your beautiful writing, I think this is a beautiful way to honor your mother’s memory and keep her close by 💖💖
Thanks for sharing the story of your grandmother, I can just imagine how beautiful that was. Two of my mother's sisters flew down to Singapore for her wake and after the funeral, we gathered around my mother's closet so that they could pick what they wanted - my mum's clothes suited them more and my sisters and I knew that they could be trusted to treasure her things. It was also a moment of comfort and remembering my mum and how she loved to dress up.
It’s very special to make new loving memories together during some of the hardest times 💗
That's a beautiful story about your grandmother. I similarly wear my granny's ring every single day - she was given it on her 21st birthday, and my mum inherited it when she passed. My mum then wore it every day while I was growing up, so I associate it heavily with both of them. She didn’t want me to inherit it after she dies, so she passed it on to me on my own 21st. It's very comforting to carry with me. 🖤
I feel a kinship with your mom. As a woman who loves fashion but spends most of my day caregiving, my clothes have to be practical BUT I get dressed to show up for myself and the people I do see. I love dressing up for a casual dinner out with friends or a PTO meeting and I’ve regularly been told by friends “you dressing nice is reminding me that I can dress nice.” Thanks for sharing this, your love for your mom is so very clear.
Thank you! As a child I took pride in how well my mum dressed, she really stood out and she didn't seem to mind, which is quite remarkable when you consider how women often feel pressured to conform.
So beautiful. I’m so sorry about your mum x
Thank you! Losing a parent can bring up so many complicated feelings for many, I feel lucky that our relationship was one that allows me to look back with love and happiness (not quite the same with my dad, lol).
I love this. I often did this when seeing clients in person (almost all remote at this point), would dress in a way that aligned a bit with their style or place in life, just to build trust.
It's such an art, I love that you do that!
A lovely article, Lin. I'll be thinking about this the next time I get dressed to meet someone. 🖤
One of the most beautiful things I have ever read. My heart breaks for your sadness. It is clear you are a wonderful daughter. Thank you for this — it is a gift.
Thank you! After all these years, writing (more than talking) is one of the few ways I can express how much I miss my mum.
This is so beautiful, and a wonderful tribute to your mother. ❤️
Thank you for your kind words :)
Such a beautiful piece of writing! I am gobsmaked twice by the emotions your writing has bubbled up in me. I am a homemaker and still try to make an effort to get properly dressed every day - even if it is for only a few hours in between cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring kids etc. I had been musing about why I do this when often no one I know will see me. And I started to think that when I go out into the world I want to show respect to the people I meet whether it’s tradies, baristas, shop workers. It doesn’t mean I need to have lots of clothes it just means taking a few extra minutes to make an effort to wear an outfit. My mum died 4 years ago and I have often lamented that I don’t have many items of hers to remind me about her (she just never really bought anything). But then I remembered how patient and kind she was to me when I was a teenager working out what I wanted to wear - she would take me to nice shops (annually, my parents were not wealthy), she would encourage me to try and wear whatever I liked, she showed absolutely no judgment and always told me I was gorgeous. Thank you for writing your beautiful thoughts Lin. I have really enjoyed reflecting on your words.
Thank you, I totally relate to how you feel, as someone who works from home and sometimes actually never leaves the house at all during the day. And thank you for your sharing your story about your mum, I really feel the love you have for her. I actually didn't keep much of my mum's clothes either; they suited her sisters better, so my sisters and I decided to give most of her good clothes to them. I guess it's really her attitude around style that matters, more than the actual clothing!
This is beautiful. I always love your thoughtful narrative around how and why we dress. I can relate to that, wearing one of your mother's things when you miss her. I do the same and take comfort in knowing she's with me every day I wear my engagement ring (a redesign of one of her rings). Sending you lots of love today <3
Thank you! I'm also incredibly moved whenever you mention your mum in your content, it is a blessing to be able to carry good memories with us every day!
This was such a great read. I absolutely believe in dressing for people and occasions. And I think we often underestimate those times when how we dress links us to our loved ones. I wear my grandmother's wedding and engagement rings every day, and it links me so closely to her.
Thank you! I'm always astounded by how much my dressing choices was influenced by my mum -- the way I can't start my day unless I've gotten dressed, my mania for ironed clothes, and the way I like to feel clothes to get a sense of the texture and weight when I'm flipping through shopping racks.
Beautiful, Lin, and something I’ve always believed—dressing well IS good manners. And I’m sorry for your loss—my mother died seven years ago this fall.
Thank you! Sending you lots of love as well :)
I love this so much, Lin.💕 I think it’s so respectful to consider one’s audience when dressing. This:
“we should also own the freedom to thoughtfully engage from a place of sincerity and openness.”
…is wonderful. I usually dress up for dental appointments-my dentist and tech love to see what I’ve worn for them.
Beautiful sentiments. Thank you for sharing 💕
Thank you!