Thank you for writing this, Lin. There's so much good stuff here and it all resonates with me. I can relate to pretty much everything you wrote.
I contemplated participating in the rule of 5 this year, but I knew in my gut that it would be too ambitious for where I'm at. I still feel vulnerable. Early this year I decided to spontaneously embark on Rachel Solomon's idea of allowing myself 1-3 items a month, and I've stuck to it successfully. 1-3 items has helped me to take things one month at a time and to have some leeway in case I come across something amazing. I still like to collect old vintage or antique clothes (some of it is not even for wearing) and 1-3 items a month allows me to collect, but to not go completely crazy. I'm debating if I should try the rule of 5 next year... but I'm not sure. I might be better at doing shorter no/low-buys than an entire year. Approaching things one month at a time has felt rewarding and not like a punishment.
One item a month sounds great, it leaves room for spontaneity! I remember trying that one year and finding it quite hard, so it's still a proper challenge too. I've loved the stories you've shared about some of the antique clothing you've found... what do you think is the biggest difference between collecting and shopping?
I had tried one item a month approach years ago (it was called 12/12 challenge or something) and I found it impossible. But there's something about 1-3 items a month that is almost relaxing. Obviously I try to do just one item a month, but if it's 2 or 3 every now and then, it's not a complete failure. My brain has been thankful for that leeway, even though I'm not always taking advantage of it.
What is the difference between shopping and collecting -- that's a good question. When I have my collector's hat on, I look for very old pieces and I don't really even think about their wearability. They might not even be my size or they might be damaged, but I buy them for studying and for preservation. Sometimes the things that I collect are also wearable and in my size, in which case it's both shopping and collecting. Sometimes it's a fine line. But if I'm only shopping without my collector's hat on, I buy things that I intend to wear on a daily basis so they need to fit well and to be in good condition.
feeling similarly to you. this has been the year of really tuning in and observing my patterns. i still bought a ton and am trying not to be too hard on myself (but also not to give myself a pass). now i am suddenly moving into a new home and it’s amazing how much my focus has shifted and clothes shopping put on the back burner. i’ll be sharing a closet with my husband now, rather than having my own private space - makes me rethink things.
i do think a no buy year will always seem too ambitious a for me - and also arbitrary in terms of start/end time. last december i went bananas shopping, telling myself that 2024 would be the time to change - and that was a mistake!
I feel you! I was like this in 2023 and it didn't make sense at all for the needs and shifts in my life. I think a no-buy year is a bit of a stretch for me too. I think these types of challenges should take whatever shape or form that we can manage at that point in time.
Loved this. Thank you. I’m aiming to start a no buy October 1st.
I would love to hear your (and your readers) favourite substack fashion people who produce content not based solely around links and shopping suggestions - to add to my own reading list. More ideas based etc. I think I may need to unfollow the more affiliate links based writers to help curb my temptation to shop…
Wow, I resonated so deeply with your article. In a way I felt kinda ashamed at how much I resonated cos my default is to say oh that’s not me! The guilty, jittery feeling definitely is me though. Like ok I found a thing, I’m gonna go through with it, it’s gonna fill me with some kind of feeling for a day or so.
I have been on a no buy for a couple months now out of sheer necessity. I am really grateful though. Like you, I’ve unsubscribed from accounts that light that jittery sensation. And I am proud of seeing my bank account grow steadily.
I totally understand..I don't have an overflowing closet, I don't declutter to make space for stuff, and some people would say that buying 20-30 items of clothing a year isn't exactly "intervention" levels. But inside, I knew I was depending on shopping for a temporary high and I didn't want that.
My financial situation has been a huge factor in keeping me in check too - I now earn about half of what I used to make, and it really makes it clear what is worth spending on and what isn't.
Thank you! I see quite a few IG content creators doing that (Carla Beghin being one of them) and I really enjoy the creative exercises they turn to, to stay inspired and not spendy. Seems like a good plan.
Thank you so much for sharing all of this. It’s incredibly helpful and freeing to know I’m not alone in this struggle! I’m still trying to find the balance between “I love fashion and I work hard and deserve to buy something nice” and “I’m overbuying in a feeble attempt to regulate my nervous system while actually causing more problems in the long run”.
I tried a few no-buy months last year and failed miserably. Then I just gave up for awhile and things were pretty bad. My husband & I overhauled our finances this summer and I was forced to confront my overspending.
In August I sat down and read about the 5 things challenge in greater detail, and it resonated with me for the first time. I decided to try and reach that goal for the remainder of the year. So far I’ve only bought two things in September, which is like…10% of what I bought last year. I think I will end up going over 5 but I’m trying. And I can feel my mindset slowly shifting.
Oh gosh, struggle is an understatement. I have blog posts from like, 2014 talking about how I need to shop less and I feel like I didn't make any real progress until this year. It's a process that keeps throwing up unexpected things for you to unpack and work on... and though I found it painful at first, I now find it freeing. Also, sometimes you really need an external factor to give you a push... I went from full-time employment to freelance work in April 2023 and that was a big push factor for me to rethink how much I should spend on clothes. Glad to hear that your September is going well!
This is solid excellent advice. I'm nearing the end of a no-clothes buy, and a general lo-buy. I'm taking it month by month, and not ruling out anything eventually, but just saying to myself, "well, get to the end of this month and then see", is helping. I do envision buying a couple of things, but then I'm sure I'll hop back on the horse again.
Month by month is a pace that works well for me too. Sometimes, after a month or two of not buying any clothes, I think, ok this is the month where I have the budget and space to buy a few things on my wishlist, and I end up not buying anything anyway. I think not treating a low-buy as punishment and telling myself I have permission to buy the right thing when it comes along, defused a lot of the tension that's associated with no/low buys.
Love this! Honesty and being kind to yourself are so important. I knew I wouldn’t be able to approach the Rule of 5/10 this year without giving myself a lot of grace. In some ways, I never thought I would actually make it — so I’m pleasantly surprised that I’m still on track. I’m glad you are also feeling content with how you’ve managed.
Thank you! Glad to hear your Rule of 5/10 is going well too, considering how you're also juggling so many new needs. I think there's no need to self-flagellate over no/low-buys...the stakes are not high at all, and having experienced extreme guilt about consumerism, I think no one needs to put themselves through something like that.
Lin, this post is super helpful at a time when I am miserable about Rule of 5. Thank you so much for writing this. I am going to print it out and let the article float around the house.
If i can add to this list : avoid McCloset tours. If I see someone show 30 pairs of shoes and then the subsequent outfits, my brain normalizes wanting 30 pairs of shoes too. Their collection volume becomes the new normal and I can pity myself for not having as many shoes. Being a collector becomes normalized. Consumption becomes independent of need or wear.
That sounds rough...do go easy on yourself! I think the Rule of 5 is just one of many things we do to lead a more sustainable life, and we shouldn't put too much weight on this one measure to decide how we feel about ourselves.
Fashion and style content is triggering for me too...comparison is the original thief of joy after all, but I just have to remind myself that consumerism doesn't restore that joy to me.
Oh I love this and so agree with how good saying no feels! I also have found it really helpful to differentiate between loving something and wanting to own it. There’s plenty of things I love that don’t belong in my wardrobe.
Thank you for writing this, Lin. There's so much good stuff here and it all resonates with me. I can relate to pretty much everything you wrote.
I contemplated participating in the rule of 5 this year, but I knew in my gut that it would be too ambitious for where I'm at. I still feel vulnerable. Early this year I decided to spontaneously embark on Rachel Solomon's idea of allowing myself 1-3 items a month, and I've stuck to it successfully. 1-3 items has helped me to take things one month at a time and to have some leeway in case I come across something amazing. I still like to collect old vintage or antique clothes (some of it is not even for wearing) and 1-3 items a month allows me to collect, but to not go completely crazy. I'm debating if I should try the rule of 5 next year... but I'm not sure. I might be better at doing shorter no/low-buys than an entire year. Approaching things one month at a time has felt rewarding and not like a punishment.
One item a month sounds great, it leaves room for spontaneity! I remember trying that one year and finding it quite hard, so it's still a proper challenge too. I've loved the stories you've shared about some of the antique clothing you've found... what do you think is the biggest difference between collecting and shopping?
I had tried one item a month approach years ago (it was called 12/12 challenge or something) and I found it impossible. But there's something about 1-3 items a month that is almost relaxing. Obviously I try to do just one item a month, but if it's 2 or 3 every now and then, it's not a complete failure. My brain has been thankful for that leeway, even though I'm not always taking advantage of it.
What is the difference between shopping and collecting -- that's a good question. When I have my collector's hat on, I look for very old pieces and I don't really even think about their wearability. They might not even be my size or they might be damaged, but I buy them for studying and for preservation. Sometimes the things that I collect are also wearable and in my size, in which case it's both shopping and collecting. Sometimes it's a fine line. But if I'm only shopping without my collector's hat on, I buy things that I intend to wear on a daily basis so they need to fit well and to be in good condition.
"Approaching things one month at a time has felt rewarding and not like a punishment." Fully agree.
feeling similarly to you. this has been the year of really tuning in and observing my patterns. i still bought a ton and am trying not to be too hard on myself (but also not to give myself a pass). now i am suddenly moving into a new home and it’s amazing how much my focus has shifted and clothes shopping put on the back burner. i’ll be sharing a closet with my husband now, rather than having my own private space - makes me rethink things.
i do think a no buy year will always seem too ambitious a for me - and also arbitrary in terms of start/end time. last december i went bananas shopping, telling myself that 2024 would be the time to change - and that was a mistake!
Me too, Amy! You aren’t alone. I think month by month is sustainable and a pleasant rhythm.
I feel you! I was like this in 2023 and it didn't make sense at all for the needs and shifts in my life. I think a no-buy year is a bit of a stretch for me too. I think these types of challenges should take whatever shape or form that we can manage at that point in time.
Loved this. Thank you. I’m aiming to start a no buy October 1st.
I would love to hear your (and your readers) favourite substack fashion people who produce content not based solely around links and shopping suggestions - to add to my own reading list. More ideas based etc. I think I may need to unfollow the more affiliate links based writers to help curb my temptation to shop…
Good idea, I'll have a think about this and add it to my Sept/Oct round-up
Yes, I had to cut myself off from substacks that were focused on providing shopping information - I just don't need the temptation!
Wow, I resonated so deeply with your article. In a way I felt kinda ashamed at how much I resonated cos my default is to say oh that’s not me! The guilty, jittery feeling definitely is me though. Like ok I found a thing, I’m gonna go through with it, it’s gonna fill me with some kind of feeling for a day or so.
I have been on a no buy for a couple months now out of sheer necessity. I am really grateful though. Like you, I’ve unsubscribed from accounts that light that jittery sensation. And I am proud of seeing my bank account grow steadily.
Thank you for such a thoughtful piece ❤️
I totally understand..I don't have an overflowing closet, I don't declutter to make space for stuff, and some people would say that buying 20-30 items of clothing a year isn't exactly "intervention" levels. But inside, I knew I was depending on shopping for a temporary high and I didn't want that.
My financial situation has been a huge factor in keeping me in check too - I now earn about half of what I used to make, and it really makes it clear what is worth spending on and what isn't.
Really helpful! I like the idea of one month on, one off… I may try that as a framework for 2025
Thank you! I see quite a few IG content creators doing that (Carla Beghin being one of them) and I really enjoy the creative exercises they turn to, to stay inspired and not spendy. Seems like a good plan.
Thank you so much for sharing all of this. It’s incredibly helpful and freeing to know I’m not alone in this struggle! I’m still trying to find the balance between “I love fashion and I work hard and deserve to buy something nice” and “I’m overbuying in a feeble attempt to regulate my nervous system while actually causing more problems in the long run”.
I tried a few no-buy months last year and failed miserably. Then I just gave up for awhile and things were pretty bad. My husband & I overhauled our finances this summer and I was forced to confront my overspending.
In August I sat down and read about the 5 things challenge in greater detail, and it resonated with me for the first time. I decided to try and reach that goal for the remainder of the year. So far I’ve only bought two things in September, which is like…10% of what I bought last year. I think I will end up going over 5 but I’m trying. And I can feel my mindset slowly shifting.
Oh gosh, struggle is an understatement. I have blog posts from like, 2014 talking about how I need to shop less and I feel like I didn't make any real progress until this year. It's a process that keeps throwing up unexpected things for you to unpack and work on... and though I found it painful at first, I now find it freeing. Also, sometimes you really need an external factor to give you a push... I went from full-time employment to freelance work in April 2023 and that was a big push factor for me to rethink how much I should spend on clothes. Glad to hear that your September is going well!
This is solid excellent advice. I'm nearing the end of a no-clothes buy, and a general lo-buy. I'm taking it month by month, and not ruling out anything eventually, but just saying to myself, "well, get to the end of this month and then see", is helping. I do envision buying a couple of things, but then I'm sure I'll hop back on the horse again.
Month by month is a pace that works well for me too. Sometimes, after a month or two of not buying any clothes, I think, ok this is the month where I have the budget and space to buy a few things on my wishlist, and I end up not buying anything anyway. I think not treating a low-buy as punishment and telling myself I have permission to buy the right thing when it comes along, defused a lot of the tension that's associated with no/low buys.
Love this! Honesty and being kind to yourself are so important. I knew I wouldn’t be able to approach the Rule of 5/10 this year without giving myself a lot of grace. In some ways, I never thought I would actually make it — so I’m pleasantly surprised that I’m still on track. I’m glad you are also feeling content with how you’ve managed.
Thank you! Glad to hear your Rule of 5/10 is going well too, considering how you're also juggling so many new needs. I think there's no need to self-flagellate over no/low-buys...the stakes are not high at all, and having experienced extreme guilt about consumerism, I think no one needs to put themselves through something like that.
Lin, this post is super helpful at a time when I am miserable about Rule of 5. Thank you so much for writing this. I am going to print it out and let the article float around the house.
If i can add to this list : avoid McCloset tours. If I see someone show 30 pairs of shoes and then the subsequent outfits, my brain normalizes wanting 30 pairs of shoes too. Their collection volume becomes the new normal and I can pity myself for not having as many shoes. Being a collector becomes normalized. Consumption becomes independent of need or wear.
That sounds rough...do go easy on yourself! I think the Rule of 5 is just one of many things we do to lead a more sustainable life, and we shouldn't put too much weight on this one measure to decide how we feel about ourselves.
Fashion and style content is triggering for me too...comparison is the original thief of joy after all, but I just have to remind myself that consumerism doesn't restore that joy to me.
Oh I love this and so agree with how good saying no feels! I also have found it really helpful to differentiate between loving something and wanting to own it. There’s plenty of things I love that don’t belong in my wardrobe.
Yeah, it's like books or art, or antique furniture! Seeing it or reading it once is about right for 99% of the things we come across.
This is so useful, thank you.